Monthly Archives: July 2015

Turning one…

A month on, I think I’ve just about got over the shock of the twins turning one. I can’t believe we have survived a whole year of life with twins and a toddler! And I’m happy to report that things have started to get easier – they are sleeping for longer (most of the time!), they are eating better and are almost on the move.

We are starting to see their lovely little personalities! Ruben is always happy – he always has smiles for everyone and will eat whatever we give him! He’s really easy going but makes us laugh because he always wants what Finn has and usually manages to take it! Finn will shout at him in his baby noises and Ruben ignores him whilst playing with his new toy…

Finn is a bit more demanding – he always has smiles for me, Chris, Max and Ruben but others have to work harder! He is a bit more serious and thinks about things more thoroughly. He takes everything in and makes his own decisions – quietly determined and focused. He is a fussy eater. which drives us mad, but also shows his knows what he wants and knows his own mind – I can’t be annoyed, as he gets that from me :O)

It’s lovely to see them turning into little boys, with their own personalities, and with so much love for each other and their big brother Max of course! Their first year was truly the hardest thing I have ever done, but now we are through it and on to the next year and the next chapters for them, the memories are slowly starting to fade and we are starting to feel like life can return to some kind of normality – a crazy normality, but that’s okay by us.

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Split personality

I’m starting to feel like I have a split personality – I don’t mean to joke about a serious disorder, merely that I’m feeling like I am three different people. When I’m with the kids, I’m ‘Mummy’ – rushing around, pandering to the needs of my three energetic boys – I rarely sit down and feel like I’m constantly feeding/preparing food for at least one of them.

When I’m at work, I’m Ceris – Fundraising Manager for Macmillan – and I take my role very seriously! I’m a professional and want to do a fantastic job and somehow this means that I don’t act like a mum, if that makes any sense. I am calm and I sit still and drink hot coffee. I try to be neat and tidy and professionally dressed, avoiding grubby hands as best I can before I leave the house and hiding dribble/bogey stains that I can’t avoid!

Then there is Ceris with my friends, who is neither of the above. Someone who tries to be young, free and carefree like ‘the old days’ and fails terribly. The great things is, my best friends are trying to do the same things so I’m in good company!

It’s quite exhausting trying to fulfil all these roles and remembering who I’m supposed to be each day, especially when you have to fulfil three roles in a day – I need a ten minute change over between each one to get into character… But playing these roles (I say playing, it’s very serious), you get to learn more about yourself and develop your character. Being a mum, you are taught about love, patience, sacrifice, heartbreak, real, true hard-work, resilience, strength. Being a working mum, in a job I love, you learn to appreciate working in a way you never could before, learn how work is an escape, an excuse to use your brain again and learn how it feels to be valued in a different way from ‘mum value’. And only having time for your real, true friends (however little or often I see/speak to you!) means you appreciate them so much more, you value the time you have together and you tell them how much they mean to you. You become more giving in your relationship because you have found true value in your friendship.

Being all these different Ceris’ may be exhausting – this last year has truly worn me out – but it’s when life asks so much of you, that you can get so much back.